Things no-one will tell you about motherhood...

There are many widely known truths about motherhood - joy, bliss, lack of sleep/ time/ money, deepest love ever etc.,all of which are true.

There are also many, many facts that you will be left to discover on your own. In my never ending quest to be helpful I will share what I can.

Of course, these are not my experiences, just what I have observed in others. Ahem.

You will accidentally hurt your baby at least once.*
You will blame every cry, runny nose, bad mood, fever, and bowel issue on "teething".*
The baby's father will annoy you.*
The baby's grandparents will annoy you.
Your baby will say his first word. You think.*
You will throw elaborate birthday parties for a baby who doesn't get the concept.*
You will consider lying about your baby's age to make him look more advanced.
Play-group will become your salvation.
You will no longer have a hand free to put on shoes. Buy clogs.
You will understand insanity.
You will find it increasingly difficult to write, speak, or even think as your vocabulary decreases to single syllables.
Everything will start to smell like pee.

(*adapted from Rebecca Eckler)