Monday, May 9, 2011

Home Unheard

7:12PM Max and Vanh are tucked in for the night. Daddy heads out to pick up coffees. Mommy retires to the TV room; chats with Dave.

7:50PM Mommy remembers Daddy also doing some shopping. Coffees will be late.

8:22PM Mommy needs to use facilities. She opens door and is confused by the sound of running water, as sounds are generally magnified through the baby monitor. She glances at the monitor and flashes back to...

4:15PM Mommy is home alone when Shadow starts barking in response to some dogs he can hear through the baby monitor. She turns it off.

8:23PM Mommy navigates stairs to find Max and Vanh vigorously washing a giant candle, never seen previously. Correction: Vanh is washing the candle; Max is eating the styrafoam it apparently came in. Mommy asks where did the candle come from? Vanh responds from the shelf Mommy. No-one has any idea what shelf.

8:24PM Boys dressed in tops only. Night-time diapers discovered on upstairs bathroom floor, dry. Pants and beds also dry. Mommy comments on these observations and is informed the poop and pee went in the potty - flush! Mommy wonders what else may be gone flush.

8:25PM Mommy re-diapers Max and Vanh and tucks them back in. Excess candle-washing water is cleaned off floor. Candle remains puzzling.

8:28PM Mommy finally gets to use the facilities. She is ready for coffee now. She returns to tell Dave how nice it is to find just a small puddle of clean water after the kids have successfully used the toilet on their own. Monitor is on and kids are sleeping. Mommy wonders if Dave knows anything about a candle?

8:37PM Daddy returns home. Clean laundry is discovered all over first floor. Daddy wonders if Mommy was looking for something? Or the dog jumping around? He shrugs and brings in shopping.

8:39PM Shards of styrofoam are observed covering floor, couch; torn up box discovered.

8:41PM Daddy needs to use facilities. He enters downstairs bathroom and turns on light. Floor is wet with small brown lump.* Potties have been disassembled.

8:42PM Daddy proceeds to playroom. Every bin of toys has been dumped. Daddy is not happy. Daddy cleans first floor. Coffees get cold.

8:53PM Daddy recounts story of the first floor to Mommy and Dave. Mommy cannot stop laughing, even with cold coffee. Candle recognized as purloined from gift closet.

The end (we HOPE!)

* Upon analysis substances were determined likely to be water (75%) and cat food (55%)


Stefanious said...

Holy hilarious!!!!

Rebecca E M Charron said...

Nice! I like the puzzling candle part myself.

Samantha and Woody said...

All along there was this niggling voice in the back of my head trying to tell me it knew where that candle was from, but I refused to believe they could have been that exploratory on their own...

B said...

My kid is going through a phase where he doesn't want to be more than 1 mm from my side...I wish he would go exploring. You made me giggle. Thanks.

taylorchloejake said...

That is so funny! I can't wait to see what kind of trouble they get into in a few years. :)

Samantha and Woody said...

(I also have to add a note for those who can't get past the horror in this story: Yes they could have been seriously hurt; they also could have been found by the police wandering down the street bottomless at 8PM, or worse. We could have been one of "those" headlines. If I knew what was happening while it was happening I too would have been horrified; I chose to focus on the humour only because it was immediately clear that they were safe and sound. The child-proofing is back on their door,the gate on the stairs, and the monitor is most decidedly on - I just heard one of them take his bed apart. Gotta go.)