I was very excited this week to be able to get back into my classroom and begin organizing for September. For three days I left the house at 8:00 and didn't see the boys again until after their nap, around 3:30. As I will be teaching until 3:45 this is not the exact schedule we will follow, but it was a good start.
It's really hard to tell if the boys even noticed the change. They are quite used to being looked after by Daddy - even from the beginning he was the one who got up in the night, and we have all been home together (with two other children) for months now. For the last few weeks I have been making myself scarcer, and at this point it seems to me there's less whining when Mommy's NOT around (which I think is normal).
As for me, I was happy to be at work, I love (almost) everything about my job and getting ready is half the fun. And if I get up at six and manage to get home by four, I can still get in enough cuddle time AND get my schoolwork done after they go to bed. All this thanks to aforementioned super-daddy who is somehow able to look after the house as well, so all I have to focus on is the kids and my job, aka my other kids.
I still feed sad about leaving them. I worry that I will regret this. It took me a day to write the previous post because I couldn't think of anything I would do differently, and it's a really good feeling to look back and have no regrets, I don't want to change that. It just makes no sense at this point to be giving my time and energy to raising someone else's kids when I have my own to deal with. It's not like I need to spend time with adults to affirm myself or anything. It can't really be for the money, because with careful planning we could make enough doing full time daycare. It's just for two years - in two years they will be eligible for school.
But it's only been three days. And I noticed that when I know I will only have a few hours, I make sure they are quality hours. And Max is a little more cuddly - but that could just be his second 2nd year molar coming in. And, as if they knew I was worrying about what I would miss, my beautiful boys saved a lot of park firsts for me, for today:
Max's first time rockin' out on this... What is this?
Max's first time posing for the camera
Max's first time climbing up a slide
Vanh's first ladder climb
Climb high beautiful boys!
11 months ago