Sunday, April 26, 2009

What is a good mother?

Really, I'm asking for your opinion. I've discovered I have no idea. I discovered this in the book, What to Expect the First Year, which keeps telling me things I didn't know. Like, did you know you are supposed to keep us a running commentary with baby including lots of repetition of key words? And did you know that you are not supposed to introduce added sugar until after age 2, or fruit sugar until age 1? And oh, flash is not good for baby eyes - but if you didn't know that, don't worry, it is unlikely to have caused any damage, just stop. So the book says.

I just picked it up again and learned you are not supposed to say "You are the best baby in the world" because this creates expectations which are impossible to live up to. Instead you could say "you were a good baby today" - but only if they were. (Obviously I am exempt from this rule, having the best babies in the world and all.)

Ah, my first response. A good mother is :One who has chips and salsa around for when her sister comes to visit. And, one who knows that you should never hold a baby upside down, even if the baby loves it.


B said...

Uh oh...Benjaminh loves to be upside down.

Beverly said...

Throw the books away. I never read one and I have two very lovely children. Go with what you feel is right. Lots of love goes a long way and sugar never hurt my two.


Jules and Danny said...

I don't know... I thought those books were supposed to be bibles that should be followed word by word, step by step and that every baby ever is supposed to respond exactly the same way to these precious instructions...

oh wait... I think that was the baby version of Stepford Wives...

lol... I think you are doing just fine! Nothing that years of therapy cannot unravel when the boys are much older.


The Kinsinger's said...

Hi, we came across your blog (while browsing through other adoption blogs) and were shocked to see a familiar face among your photos!!!

In your "Beautiful Boys" entry on Sunday, Feb 22, 2009, you have a picture of Loan, the translator we also had while in VietNam in 2002 while adopting 2 of our 2 children from Hanoi. We had lost contact with her and would love to reconnect with her again if possible. Our email address is We have a picture of Loan from our scrapbooks that we can send to you.

We are from the U.S. but are currently living in S. Korea. Our blog is All three of our children were adopted from VietNam.

Hope to hear from you!
John & Wanda Kinsinger

Jen said...

You have it right on the money. I mentioned in another comment to you that i adopted "twins" and number one rule for us that first year was to pawn them off as often as possible LOL. I love those adoption books that say not to let anyone else hold them....they didn't adopt 2 at the same time. We should have a book burning party (while someone else holds our babies)! Our kids are 27 months now and doing just fine, they will behave ike angels for M&M's!