Friday, May 8, 2009

Beginning of the End

We got our match (referral) November 12, 2008, when our boys were not yet 4 months old. Until that day we had not seriously entertained the idea of twins (does anyone?) and our adoption social worker, or Adoption Practitioner (AP) advised us that the Ontario Ministry wanted us to do some research. So I got to work and quickly discovered that best (only?!) sources of information were blogs written by other parents who had adopted twins of about the same age. I thought it was pretty weird that these people would put all this personal and private information out there for anyone to read, when they could easily set up their blog for viewing by invitation only. Weird or not, they sure had a lot to say, and I quickly realized that the mix of experiences was what I needed to hear in order to bring home the overall lesson that every child and experience is different and the most important thing to expect is the unexpected. Once this was combined with the very meaningful and educational experience that was our Homestudy (Our AP did her role perfectly and I would highly recommend her to PAPs who really want to learn) we were much better prepared.

I never thought I would be one of those weird public blog people, but I realized that my experiences too were important to add to the mix, for the next person looking for information about adopting twins. The standard adoption stuff doesn't work for us in some ways. For example, unless you have arranged for two parents to be off work for a substantial amount of time, and another two to come by every day to help out, and none of you ever have to answer the phone or use the bathroom, you will have to let a baby cry longer than you want to.

Something that nagged me from the beginning was the idea of posting the boys' photos out there for anyone to see (and download). Especially when they were still in Vietnam and some nut could have easily tracked them down. Especially now as I see how many people end up on this blog by surfing the phrase "Beautiful Boys". But I did it because in the beginning they needed strength, and I believe all of you strangers and friends who read about them and thought good thoughts and sent prayers made them well. And I do it now because I know for every weirdo there are hundreds of beautiful souls reading this, sending love, peace, health and happiness to my children.

So, it makes me sad that I won't be posting photos of the babies here for much longer. Definitely not once they're a year old. Facebook works so much better for photos and privacy, and I don't mind the directed ads...

Where was I? I keep getting called away from this blog, and then forgetting what I was trying to say when I left. Another reason to give this up - time and focus better spent, and all that.

Thank you for reading!


Jules and Danny said...

I'm glad I found your blog and added you as a friend before you end this. I will miss the comments on the blog... something facebook doesn't allow as easily, but since we chat via email, I guess I'll deal with the blog withdrawal!
It's been great!

Lillian said...

Hi Samantha,
I guess all good things must come to an end. Thank-you for taking the time and having the courage to share your experience with us PAP's. It has given me so much joy and hope. And thank-you as well for the Tra Vinh picutres you sent to me. I can picture him at the orphanage in my mind now. I wish you and your family all the very best! Maybe one day we'll meet in person at one of the TDH functions.