Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Parenting Tips

Like many parents-to-be, especially adoptive parents who can wait many years, I spent a lot of time researching how to parent. I have noticed a few changes to my carefully formed philosophies after one month with twins, and wanted to take some time to share my new-found expertise.

Before babies:
Never let your baby cry. Babies don't cry for no reason; if they are fed and dry then they are crying from fear or confusion, and to let you know they need some attention and love. It is impossible to "spoil" a baby.

After babies:
Buy yourself a good pair of earplugs. If you want your baby to stop crying instantly, just unplug the baby monitor.

Before babies:
Never put your baby to bed with a bottle. This causes ear infections and tooth decay. The process of feeding your baby is an essential part of the development of attachment and a wonderful time for the two of you to bond.

After babies:
Invest in a wide variety of stuffed animals that you can use to prop the bottle in the crib and go back to bed.

Before babies:
Never let your baby watch television. It can interfere with the development of normal depth perception and can cause attention deficit disorder as the child becomes accustomed to constant stimulation and change in the images around him.

After babies:
Action movies with lots of gun fights will buy you the most time, but just about anything loud and/or musical will work.

Before babies:
Limit visitors in your first few months with your child, especially if adopted. This will give him a chance to learn who his parent(s) are as you are the one(s) that is always there to meet his needs.

After babies:
Beg everyone you know to come for a visit, including friends of friends and people you haven't seen since high school. As soon as they arrive shove a baby in their arms and go have a nap.

Before babies: By eight months your child should be introduced to a variety of appropriate foods from the four food groups: Iron-fortified formula, baby cereal and other grain products, pureed meat and alternatives, and soft, cooked, mashed fruits and vegetables.

After babies: There are actually five food groups that your baby will be delighted to sample: Formula, dirt, pet hair, electrical cords, and cookies.

Hope this helps. I really should write a book.


Mom2J&I said...

Oh, that was great! (And so incredibly true.)
Especially for those of us with not 1, but 2 babies. People with only 1 kid are "wimps". ;)
Thanks for the laugh!!!

Tracey said...

Ha! Love it! I found the "baby einstien' videos to particulary captivate the kids..... if you don't already have them..... definately worth the $! They didn't develop any type of 'need to be stimulated constantly' from this..... Oh wait now. Oh well, it kept them quiet when they were young! LOL

Jules and Danny said...

I think perhaps you should call the book... "Musings of a Sleep Deprived Mother of Multiples"

Leslie & Shaune said...

i love it Samantha... :) keep doing what works.

Michelle said...

Yes, I too have made many changes to my parenting philosophies since Aimée has been in my life.
Before Babies: My baby will never have a crusty snotty nose. That is soooooooooooo disgusting. What are parents thinking?
After Babies: If it isn't running in her mouth, leave it be. There are bigger battles to be won. Besides, bath time is only another 10 hours away.

Chantal said...

J'ai jamais autant rie !!! C'est tellement drôle...
J'adore votre façon de ''normaliser'' la vie.
Merci pour tous ces bons conseil, j'en prend bonne note pour l'en prochain!
Mais c'était vraiment très drole !!


ValOxford said... are too funny...I love so true!!!! Welcome to parenting 101

Lillian said...

Too funny Samantha but so very true. We all start with the best intentions to be a perfect mother but then the realities of life kibosh those plans. I haven't gotten my little one yet but I am expecting it's not like a TV commercial all the time. Thank-you for your wonderful blog. I enjoy reading it.

Deslu said...


Je vous l'écrit en français car j'ai trop ris. Ho! combien c'est vrai tout ça, surtout quand on en a 2 en même temps. Mon accident au Vietnam m'a permi d'apprécier les amis et la famille à mon retour. Une chance sinon, je voulais tout faire tout seule, je crois que j'avais le virus du "wonder woman"... ouf !
J'adore regarder les photos de vos garçons. Ça me rappelle tellement de souvenir, profitez-en car ça vient très vite le temps où on cherche nos bébés et on trouve de petits enfants qui courent partout.

Maman des jumelles Lori-Anh et Émi-LY

Jen said...

As a fellow AP to two babies the same age (5 months at adoption, now 2 years old) I give you credit for realizing these truths so early on! You are right on track. I agree with my buddy Jyl...people with one are wimps(said with tongue in cheek) LOL. Congrats on your precious babies. I wish I could go back for 2 more!

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