I have written a post about post-adoption blues which I will publish later, once my desire to help others overcomes my embarrassment. If you are a typical adoptive parent you will already know what I mean.
To balance it I have to talk about how lucky we are, how the word blessed has real meaning when you think about your children, how impossible it has become not to believe in God, in a force from nature that never gives you more than you can handle and believes in you. It is apparently common for new-adoptive Moms to wonder if God didn't give them children for a reason, as they struggle with their new role. I have to say I've never doubted that my children came to me from God. When I told my Grade 3 students why I would be leaving them, one little girl waited until all the others had left to get their lunches and then she leaned forward and said, very quietly, "Mrs. Haines, why didn't you pray to God for a baby?"
"Oh I did," I replied, "And here they are!"
They are lovely babies. They really make it easy to have two. They are patient a lot of the time, okay some of the time, but really how can babies be expected to be patient? They almost always go down together, so that the rare time when just one is awake it's fun to be able to lavish attention. They pretty much sleep from 7:30pm to 6:30am, then 10-12 and 3-4. They play for a good hour at a time (about 15 minutes independently. They like the stroller and usually settle in the car seat (once we're moving). They really like riding around stores in shopping carts. None of this applies when they are teething, but that only lasts a day or so. They are adorably cute.
They do eat sand. I read somewhere not to worry if a baby eats sand, they will try it once but will quickly discover it is not food. Not my babies, they shovel it in like it's cereal. Maybe the sand at our park tastes good or something.
7 years ago
4 comments:
Hey you,
Post-adoption blues are very common... perhaps that was part of the desire for company lately. Your babies are adorable and are the perfect answer to a prayer! And I'm sure you're a fantastic mom.
j
Yep, dealt with some blues, adjustments, etc. Can't wait to read your thoughts.
But you hit the nail on the head...blessed takes on a whole new level of meaning when you have children.
God is good!
These are really courageous posts. I'm not an adoptive Mom yet but hopefully will be within a month. I appreciate the honesty. I personally hate the whole fairytale myth of how wonderful everything is supposed to be when you get the baby. All goods things come at a price. (Especially for us AP's who have gone through infertility hell.) That said I've never met a parent who didn't think it was all worth it - except parents of teenagers. :)
Ha ha.... I'm not laughing at you, however, with you! Post-adoption blues are not only common but with twins expected! What I found interesting was that I couldn't express my concern or grief to some as their response was "you KNEW adopting two was going to be work, right?!?! As if I didn't have a right to feel "blue". I had one "friend" say to me "you know, you can't return them, right"?!?! As if..... enjoy your babies and if you want a dose of reality email me! I've never sugar coated anything...the flight home from China was hell and I think that may have been when the "blues" kicked in....
I love nothing better than being a mom to twins and feel lucky to have been choosen to be their mother. They are twice the fun and I couldn't imagine life without them. :)
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